OOOAAAARRRR!! Me Professor Yeti. Or you can call me Mr. Snowman.
Me here today for very special occasion. Today is re-opening of Matterhorn Bobsledz! Today, Matterhorn get big transition. Though originally open in 1959 (June 14th, almost same as today!), Matterhorn get similar transition back in 1978. That when I first move in and decorate with ice caverns. Also, bobsleds get big redo, much like today. Back then, new bobsleds double capacity and speed to make more exciting. Today, new bobsled only excite by being new looking and more cozy for awkward guest who no like snuggle. Me here to teach you a little history, math, and then later maybe me eat you.
In 1978, new bobsleds send 8 victim… umm, peoples… through mountain for me to scare instead of 4. Not every time there be all 8, but that maximum. Today, new bobsleds only send me 6 peoples at maximum. What happen to other 2? They have wait in line for next bobsled… or maybe I eat them. You having too much fun to notice which.
Average riderz per hour was 1750 in 8-seat bobsled, but now we have 1313 per hour. That 437 less peoples for me to eat every hour! Also, this mean you wait in longer line. Me show you.
75 mintuez? That like Space Mountain! Maybe you like longer line because you no like your friend to sit with you… If they no fit in same bobsled, me might eat them. Maybe you no like bumpy ridez, but bobsleds is supposed to be bumpy. Bobsleds is bumpy in real life!
Many peoples likes for fast rollercoaster. ROOOAAARRRR!!!! With less vict—riderz on sled, it not go as fast. That give me better chance to swipe up your little onez. Me show you.
Maximum speedz was 27mph with 8 peoples, but now will be slower ride. Less of bumpiez for you after all! You still follow Professor Yeti? Or have me confuse you yet?
Me make brief summaryz for you. 1959, Walt Disney make superior bobled runz, one of kind in world (still to todayz) and first steel coaster. In 1978, Disneyland double capacity, make go fasterz, and give you premiumz theming… including best part: Me! In 2012, Disney company give you glowing blue waterfallz (Me not know why.) and slower bobsled with no as much capacity. Me show you.
So next time when in line for Matterhorn, bring book to read for longer line and extra victim… er, friend for me. Heh, heh, hehz…
Great Post! Professor Yeti is a genius. However, he forgot to mention that they also increased the minimum height by 6 WHOLE INCHES! Now he misses out on the youngest, most tender riders (victims) who anxiously await the riding of their first E-Ticket attraction.
ReplyDeleteArrgggg!!! Me no get to eat Cyndi Lauper "princess" girlz??!??!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Yeti,
ReplyDeletePlease stay away from the Matterhorn's waterfalls. They are radioactive.
Sincerely,
TokyoMagic!
P.S. Love your outfit!
Thank you, Mr. Magic. Me grab jacket off of Disney executive who ride Matterhorn for first time, but me actually was reaching for his headz.
ReplyDeleteAlso, me stay FAR away from Radioactiveadiator Springserhornz!!
Dear Mr. Yeti,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your reply. Your response has reminded me that I forgot to mention to also stay away from the southeast corner of the Disneyland parking lot. But I am glad to hear that you were already aware of the potential hazard there.
I also want to let you know that that Disney executive that you speak of, may have gotten his jacket from a guy that lives in the Haunted Mansion. The pants look familiar too. I'm just sayin'. You know how sneaky those Disney execs can be! I wouldn't want to see you have to spend time in the DL jail. Oh, and I have a BLUE bow for your beard that I just might bring you the next time I visit. It will make you feel more relaxed and less agitated. It belonged to a little girl that lives in a neighboring Fantasyland attraction.
Sincerely,
TokyoMagic!