s 2014 rolls out before you, '...But It Wasn't Always That Way!' would like to deliver our wishes of fearlessness. Never be afraid of the truth, your own happiness, the passion burning within yourself that has the power to ignite endless possibility, or the strength to be discerning amongst a jeering crowd. For once there stood an orange and walnut grove and one man who refused to take 'no' for an answer, and now we have "a dream come true for you and me"!
My first memory of visiting the Tiki Room on one enchanted afternoon, everything was going so well. The birdies had their fling, we heard the flowers sing…. and then… then it all went very, very wrong. The gods that were perched high up the walls seemed to pose no threat at first. Despite their gleaming eyes and menacing grins, they were at least stationary and motionless. Yet with a sudden, theatrical pummeling of the drums, they exploded with life. Pounding away at their instruments at about the same rate as my heart beat, bobbing their heads back and forth; this was some serious high drama that I did NOT sign up for. Images of luau girls and sandy shores accented by a harmonious steel guitar were slashed instantaneously as ancient ghosts and bubbling volcanoes took their place in my mind. Oh. And then a crashing thunderstorm causes a blackout. Man, the 60’s really were turbulent.
Ginger:
Whether we were departing from glittering Fantasyland or taking off from kinetic Tomorrowland, there was one ominous mountain with an infamous – and VERY HUNGRY – resident that awaited our passing while riding The Skyway. And by meatballs, if we didn’t duck down in that little slow moving Skybucket and completely take cover while we passed through under his watch, the horrid abominable snowman would spot us instantly and lunge forward in an attempt to hang off of the side our your Skybucket. He would then reach inside with a furry claw to scoop us up by the lederhosen and eat us alive in front of everyone just to hear our bloodcurdling screams and watch our loved ones cry.Oh yes, as children Eric and I were well versed in the roars of the Yeti, as they forewarned of this terror, and we learned at an early age to not only love the Skyway, but to respect the power of the Yeti. After the nightmares, of course. With an introduction like that, it took us each many years to actually ride the Matterhorn Bobsleds. But why not see for yourself?
Eric:
My first memory of Pirates of the Caribbean is a loud, violent blast coming out of a cannon. That pretty much sums up the relationship between my childhood and this attraction. Prior to ever sailing with this motley crue, my introduction to them was a Disney Sing-A-Long in which the explosives dangling over your head at the finale are actually shot at and explode over an unlucky group of Disneyland guests. My inherit fear of guns aside, my larger worry was always that I was going to be the next victim of overhead ‘explosivo’. Needless to say, I didn’t embark on the Caribbean in my youth very often.
Ginger:
I was somehow born with a deep respect for death and the things that came before me. I believe it is at the root of most of my childhood (and adulthood) fears. Upon my first Disneyland visit, Pirates of the Caribbean knew how to tap into this fear by putting me into the same cavern as the steering Skeleton Ghost in Dead Man’s Grotto. I knew there was nothing more mysteriously spooky about this bony spector and I paid close attention to my new forever foe as I floated on by. This was the origin of how I discovered safety on the left side of my ride vehicle. As Pirates of the Caribbean is a perfect adventure of traveling back in time, it managed to stay my very favorite Disneyland attraction for most of my life, regardless of my steering skeleton fear. And in more recent times I’ve even been brave enough to give him an approving chin-nod for his new rain effect installment. Now THAT’S love.
Eric: When I was young, I hadn’t quite grasped the concept of Disneyland attractions being guided by tracks. The Imagineers had done an excellent job at illusions and emersion, accompanied by my overactive imagination. If there was a steering wheel, for all I knew our lives were dependent on my steering. There was a long period in my childhood where I avoided this attraction. I’d be damned (to hell) if I put my dad’s life and my own in jeopardy again after almost careening into a river and head first into a locomotive. In fact, by the time I was older all I could remember about the attraction was a train coming right at us. Blimey.
Ginger:
All I have to say is that as a child, a suit of armor almost fell on me and I was then sent to Hell by a demonic judge, where I was taunted by tiny demons.And it was hot there too. Very hot. One excellent example of how Fantasyland is not just meant for kids.
Ginger:
Sure, all was silly and fun when you gave the Country Bears a sit down and listened to their Vacation Hoedown. Fun, that is, until the curtain on the main stage was drawn mid-show and revealed a moonless night sky instead of the cheery daytime setting that was there previously. I’m not sure if it was the Bears' phenomenal performance and lyrical content of the song ‘Ghost Riders in the Sky’, the strong and almost haunting harmonization of vocals or the thunder and lightening that concerned me the most. What I can say for sure though, is that during this scene in particular I felt exactly like the scared little cub scout that sat on stage with them during this performance and that someone needed to help him. Just not me.
Eric:
Two words.
Straight…
down…
To the Disneyland marketing team of 1989, I still hate you.
Ginger:
I don’t enjoy being terrorized by water and after dealing with the sad Cub Scout bear from the Country Bear Vacation Hoedown, I learned that sad-faced audio animatronics break my heart. The final scene before Splash Mountain’s drop encompasses all of these elements and I wear it like a “wet blanket”, so to speak. Also, due to my distaste of being splashed, it is because of this very ride that the sound of bees makes me extremely uneasy. It is still a bit of a struggle to get me on this ride and I bet if I had ever had the chance to take a seat for the magic of ‘America Sings’, convincing me would be almost impossible.
Eric:
When asked to name one thing I fear most, I usually say hippos. They’re enormous, slimy-looking, big-sharp-fanged beasts, and yet somehow beloved by most of the world. Whoever does PR for these creatures has done a fantastic job of tricking the mainstream into believing these monsters are sweet and cuddly.BE INFORMED! Hippos are the deadliest African animals with a higher murder rate than crocs, lions, and bears… Oh my! To this day, if you see me on the Jungle Cruise going through the hippo pool, I’m probably tensed up, frozen in the center of the boat… if not, I’m likely zoned out playing that soothing Jungle Cruise boathouse 1930’s jazz in my head and thinking of happier times, like when we were only passing by harmless gun-toting gorillas. Make no mistake about it, I’m not afraid of the hippo pool because I don’t like hippos. I hate hippos because of the Jungle Cruise hippo pool. Not only did turning that back corner mean encountering these huge creeps with their bubbles and wiggles and gaping jaws, this also meant dealing with another antagonist of mine: guns. Yes, to add insult to injury, a gun fires in this scene. Twice. Not only did little 6-year old me have to curl his body into a ball, he had to cover his ears too. For the record though, I will defend keeping the guns on the Cruise ‘til my dying die! That day most likely being my next trip to Africa.
Eric:
The PeopleMover – may it rest in peace – was one of my favorite things to ride in the park. I don’t think I ever visited Disneyland from my birth until summer of ’97 that I didn’t embark on the PeopleMover. On many occasions, it was the first thing we ran to. However, there was one little problem with riding PeopleMover, just one little issue. It wasn’t the swiveling Storm Trooper with an attitude. It wasn’t the pitch black preview of Space Mountain. It was the Tron tunnel. It was loud, psychedelic, very successfully had you believing you were traveling at high speeds, and confusing as heck since I had never seen or heard of “Tron” as a kid. It was years before I realized this disorienting Game Grid was based on a movie. 5 years old was just way too young for me to experience my first drug trip.
Ginger:
If you turn to the right, you might accidentally fall off. Wait, you’re ok. Then you turn to the left and you might accidentally fall off again. And you alternate like this while you descend down some slippery leaves for a minute or two and then you’re safe. Sometimes I wonder if maybe it’s because I am a short person that I love being on the ground so much and then I remember childhood trauma like being on the outside tracks of this ride. If it weren’t for seeing those surprise caterpillar shoes everytime that sit on top of the mushroom, my memories would be a lot more troubled. And yet, I would give most anything to see these tracks in their original form once again. Ah, the way Disneyland has versed me in the art of love/hate!
Eric:
Dad (looking at Storybook Land): “How about we go on that?”
Me (age 2-12, seeing boats enter an angry whale’s gaping mouth): “NO.”
Ginger:
Just for the record, I couldn’t ever say or think anything negative about this incredible Disneyland monument and am nothing but enamored with my old, dear friend Monstro.
Eric:
The Haunted Mansion seems like a pretty obvious choice for childhood scares, but I always took delight in the macabre mischief of this Louisiana residency. While the more “genuine” or intentional scares of the manor may have tickled my fancy, my personal phobias and unshackled imagination never let me out the Exit sweat-free. The threat of being trapped in a room with “no windows and no doors” did not bode well for a young, impressionable first-timer prone to claustrophobia. I always sympathized with the Caretaker and Bride (not realizing she herself was dead… I mean, she used to scream!) and wanted so desperately to aid in their escape. Speaking of escape, when I was told a ghost would follow me home… I really wanted to believe that it wasn’t true. I really, really tried to tell myself that it was made-up. Nevertheless, without fail, I consistently found myself staring at the empty backseat of the car every ride home. One night I even shut the door behind me as fast as I could back at the house!
Ginger:
In my opinion, the left side of every DOOMbuggy should be worn thin by now from people scooting as far as they could to get away from that TERRIFYING AND HORRENDOUS red-eyed, and then green-faced, bride b**ch that used to live in the attic. And I do mean every run-on word of that.
Eric: It’s funny how selective my imagination could be when I was younger. I had no doubt that Mission to Mars was really taking us up into space. I wondered how they dried the exterior of the Enchanted Tiki Room so quickly after every rainstorm. And yet, I always knew that there was a real person under every Mickey Mouse mask. I somehow managed to not be duped into believing that those characters walking around the park were anything but people in costumes. So if any of them put their arms around me, it creeped me out to no end. (I was never a fan of mall Santas or Easter Bunnies either.) They were just masked strangers, akin to Jason or Michael Meyers. I didn’t know who they were, or what they were capable of. To this day I think that posing for a picture with these silent, overly-dressed actors is one of the most socially awkward situations imaginable.
Ginger:
Suspended in a tangled chaos of wires and cables, almost as if disembodied, the Supreme Leader undoubtedly has the “gift” of making the 5-year-old versions of Eric and me sit still in our seats while watching Tomorrowland’s Captain EO. When faced with her royal heinousness and her notable cuspidated fingers, the only life-saving tactic any desperate kids like us could do was nervously peek from beneath our 3D glasses while paralyzed in fear just to remind ourselves that she is only a screen projection…. for now.We almost forgot that we would do this until EO was reopened in 2010 and we noticed the kids in this new generation doing it too. That hissing, shrilling voice, those terrible wide eyes, that nasty egocentric temperament, and most importantly… THOSE CLAWS that reach out to shish kebab your very soul would surely leave anyone unsettled upon first (and perhaps last!) encounter.
alloween has a long, cold running history in our culture. For centuries – in one ghastly form or another – spooks and ghouls have been plaguing us this time of year, creeping into our neighborhoods, minds, and homes. It’s the time of year when the supernatural are able to frolic into our dimension, wriggling and grooving to the sweet sounds of our screams. Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion is one the ultimate culminations of all macabre aspects of this gothic holiday… but 40 years before this creepy old crypt rose into our world, Mickey Mouse discovered a haunted home of his own. Here, the inhabitants (including a cameo appearance by the stars of The Skeleton Dance, released that same year) dare to dance on Mickey’s would-be grave, forcing him to play spirited sonnets on the piano. Let’s join Mickey now in his historic first encounter with the undead…
alloween is my favorite time of the year. It’s a time to celebrate and respect all things dark, strange, dead, and… undead. Being the devote fan of Mr. Disney’s park that I am, for me Halloween and Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion (super)naturally go boney hand in boney hand. Woefully, for the past 10+ years visiting said Mansion in October means regaling a certain Tim Burton movie and Christmas more than it means paying homage to All Hallow’s Eve.
During these dismal, Mansionless times, we fans of the truly macabre (and truly Marc Davis) do what we can to – if you’ll pardon the expression – carry on the spirit of the ‘ghostly retreat’ in our own dwellings. I see, read, smell, and hear of people decorating their own homes to resemble the Mansion’s interior quite frequently. Recently a home in Duluth, Georgia went on sale, boasting a remarkable recreation of the original exterior, with a couple of extra goodies on the inside as well. (And note, no sleighs and Christmas wreaths adorning the house…)
The drawing wasn't too paneful.
Back in 2008, I set to bring a little bit of the Haunted Mansion back to my own home, as Paul Frees’ ‘Ghost Host’ had so often suggested. Inspired by a slew of make-your-own window decals that I had seen in magazines, I decided to craft a few aperture aberrations of my own. I have three tall windows facing out from the front of my home; I figured this would be the perfect spot for our beloved hitchhiking ghosts to haunt until their spot in the Mansion was once again available to occupy. Referring to attraction poster art, I quickly sketched the three wayfarers on paper, broken into the pieces that would fit into each window pane. I then re-drew each individual window pane on fitted pieces of black cardboard. The rest was easy as pumpkin pie! I cut out each ghostly feature and slapped on the remaining black cardboard to its respective window pane. The whole process was essentially like carving a giant, flat Jack-o-Lantern. White blinds are enough to “backlight” the figures during the day, but the glow of Halloween lights gives the ghosts an ‘eerie luminescence’ after dark!
Don't be too scared to try this at home.
Quite a few hours of labor were involved, but the pay-off was well worth it. Phineas, Ezra, and Gus have been giving the thumb to my neighbors every Halloween season since, and they never fail to crowd-please! I only wish I could give them a ride to where they’re going. I know they’re dying to get back home...
The Hauntings Three!
For good measure, a complimentary Jack-o-Lantern can't hurt. Or can she?!
ay I have your attention for just a moment please…
As you might be aware, there is quite a celebration upon us. Today is the birthday of a very dear friend of mine – a friend whom I’ve known as long as I can remember. I speak of course, of Disneyland. There isn’t much that I can say about Walt Disney’s fabulous kingdom that hasn’t already been said. We all share this mutual friend, and we all know the bond we hold. We know the enlivening sights and sounds, the fond memories, and that gushy feeling which pulses through us at the mere mention of its name.
On this day, Disneyland celebrates 57 years of giving us that tingle, and though we might gripe and grumble at the ravages of time and maturity on our dear comrade, that feeling has always been there, and will always remain. As I stated, there aren’t many original compliments one can pay to Disneyland, but I would love to honor our shining Birthday Star with a little celebratory anecdote…
I have to preface this story with the moderately-known fact that I am an artist, and have largely dedicated this talent to an un-Disneyland-related comic for the last several years. (The very nerve, right?) Well, last Saturday – hot out of Comic-Con, San Diego – I sat down at a quiet coffee shop table, hoping to accomplish a little writing and sketching for this project. I stared at a blank piece of paper, brainstorming for ideas, and though I was seemingly without distractions, this is what wound up on my page in less than an hour:
This isn’t unlike most of the doodles I churned out as a kid. Every other piece of paper had a crudely-drawn Matterhorn on it, complete with cave holes and a Skyway.
I keep this little index card scribble close by, as it’s always been one of my favorites:
Judging by the Fantasmic! dragon on the right, I was probably about 10 when I sketched this… quickly, in pen, without photo references. That’s what Disneyland did to us as children. It CONSUMED us! Whether you were an artist or not, you probably couldn’t close your eyes without seeing Dumbo spinning in circles or pirate cannons blasting over your heads or a baby Brontosaur begging for food. I know you did, don’t lie!
I recently acquired a ’58 Disneyland souvenir guide on eBay. Upon first opening its pages, I noticed quite a few key words had been underlined by its original owner. While some might have frowned at a “graffiti’d” item, I absolutely loved that another child – a little girl, in fact, named Jeannette Johnson – was as enamored by Disneyland as I was… in the 50's! I had found a new friend.
Who could possibly be upset that a child found the words “on a mule ‘train’” and “ultra-modern in exterior design” important enough to underline?!
The biggest gem of all, however, was an index card (See a connection there..?) with what appears to be the opening of a school report:
“How would you like to ride a flying elephant as though you were 3 or 4 yrs. old. Or had you rather take a voyage to the bottom of the sea, or explore the universe in a space rocket.
There is a particular place in the United States where a person can do all three of these things in just one day. This fabulous place is Disneyland.
Disneyland is a “Magic Kingdom” because it combines fantasy and history, adventure and learning,”
And unfortunately, that’s all we get to see of Jeannette’s amazing report. I couldn’t find any way to describe how wonderful Disneyland is, or how it fascinated and enthralled us as kids… but I think these few lines speak volumes. (Jeannette, if you’re reading this, and have a fantastic memory or are an organized hoarder, please share the rest of this report with us. I need to know how it ends!)
So now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I conclude my brief testimonial with a toast. Let’s raise a glass and a bottle o’ rum to This Happy Place of 160 acres. Here’s to our dear old friend, thriving as ever, and may it continue to enrich the lives of the young and young-at-heart for another 57+ years..!
Happy Birthday, Disneyland! Now, it's your turn to close your eyes and make a wish. Love: Eric, Ginger, and Jeannette
OOOAAAARRRR!! Me Professor Yeti. Or you can call me Mr. Snowman.
Me here today for very special occasion. Today is re-opening of Matterhorn Bobsledz! Today, Matterhorn get big transition. Though originally open in 1959 (June 14th, almost same as today!), Matterhorn get similar transition back in 1978. That when I first move in and decorate with ice caverns. Also, bobsleds get big redo, much like today. Back then, new bobsleds double capacity and speed to make more exciting. Today, new bobsled only excite by being new looking and more cozy for awkward guest who no like snuggle. Me here to teach you a little history, math, and then later maybe me eat you.
In 1978, new bobsleds send 8 victim… umm, peoples… through mountain for me to scare instead of 4. Not every time there be all 8, but that maximum. Today, new bobsleds only send me 6 peoples at maximum. What happen to other 2? They have wait in line for next bobsled… or maybe I eat them. You having too much fun to notice which.
Average riderz per hour was 1750 in 8-seat bobsled, but now we have 1313 per hour. That 437 less peoples for me to eat every hour! Also, this mean you wait in longer line. Me show you.
75 mintuez? That like Space Mountain! Maybe you like longer line because you no like your friend to sit with you… If they no fit in same bobsled, me might eat them. Maybe you no like bumpy ridez, but bobsleds is supposed to be bumpy. Bobsleds is bumpy in real life!
Many peoples likes for fast rollercoaster. ROOOAAARRRR!!!! With less vict—riderz on sled, it not go as fast. That give me better chance to swipe up your little onez. Me show you.
Maximum speedz was 27mph with 8 peoples, but now will be slower ride. Less of bumpiez for you after all! You still follow Professor Yeti? Or have me confuse you yet?
Me make brief summaryz for you. 1959, Walt Disney make superior bobled runz, one of kind in world (still to todayz) and first steel coaster. In 1978, Disneyland double capacity, make go fasterz, and give you premiumz theming… including best part: Me! In 2012, Disney company give you glowing blue waterfallz (Me not know why.) and slower bobsled with no as much capacity. Me show you.
So next time when in line for Matterhorn, bring book to read for longer line and extra victim… er, friend for me. Heh, heh, hehz…
s 2014 rolls out before you, '...But It Wasn't Always That Way!' would like to deliver our wishes of fearlessness. Never be afraid of the truth, your own happiness, the passion burning within yourself that has the power to ignite endless possibility, or the strength to be discerning amongst a jeering crowd. For once there stood an orange and walnut grove and one man who refused to take 'no' for an answer, and now we have "a dream come true for you and me"! 
e here at "... But It Wasn't Always That Way!" would like to issue you all one very grand, colorful, musical, charming, and loving Season Greeting!
alloween has a long, cold running history in our culture. For centuries – in one ghastly form or another – spooks and ghouls have been plaguing us this time of year, creeping into our neighborhoods, minds, and homes. It’s the time of year when the supernatural are able to frolic into our dimension, wriggling and grooving to the sweet sounds of our screams. Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion is one the ultimate culminations of all macabre aspects of this gothic holiday… but 40 years before this creepy old crypt rose into our world, Mickey Mouse discovered a haunted home of his own. Here, the inhabitants (including a cameo appearance by the stars of 
ay I have your attention for just a moment please…
OOOAAAARRRR!! Me Professor Yeti. Or you can call me Mr. Snowman.
